What has love got to do with confidence? May 27, 2021 – Posted in: Advice, Confidence, Relationships, Spirituality

What has love got to do with confidence?

What has love got to do with confidence? Well… Everything, actually.

True love wants your freedom

You see, to truly love another person is to want their growth, their freedom, and their joy.  Remember the old adage, “If you love someone let them go”? What it’s saying is that genuine love is not about ownership or control but about wanting to nurture and support the object of your affection in order that they can truly shine and truly live as who they really are.

Which is, of course, a confident state to be in.  To be who you truly are in every situation without having to shape-shift and people-please is an incredibly confident and self-assured way to live.

But most of us were raised in a culture (and maybe also in families) that promotes fitting in over shining brightly.  A culture that confuses love with control.  A culture dancing to a drumbeat of fear, which will only destroy genuine confidence.

Ask yourself…

As a child was I nurtured and supported to be who I really am? 
If not, how has this affected my confidence?
If I was unafraid of rejection or judgement what would I do?
If I was truly confident who would I be?
If I was truly confident what work would I do?
If I was truly confident what changes would I make to my life?
If I truly loved the people in my life, how might my relationships change?


None of us can change the past but you can change the narrative of the present moment.  You can rinse out those old ideas of love being about control and fear, and grow new ones based on the KNOWING that love is about truth and freedom.  You can become genuinely loving towards yourself and towards the people in your life.  
From here your confidence can only grow.  
So, will you commit to learning to truly love yourself and others?  You won’t regret it, I promise!

Try this

One thing I do each morning in my quiet time is imagine I am taking off an old smelly coat of control, fear, dishonesty and low self-esteem.  I then put on a cloak of love, truth, acceptance and peace.  From here I go about my day trying to be a genuine representation of who I really am rather than the approval-seeking missile I once was.  It has worked for me for many years so I can only imagine it will work for you too. 

Having discovered a way to be genuinely confident I just want everyone to have the same gift.  Hence why I do this work and why it gives me such a thrill when I see someone released from the clutches of fear into deep, loving confidence.

If you’re on Instagram, you can watch my short video on love and confidence here.

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