How to manage stress to boost your confidence March 27, 2019 – Posted in: Advice, Confidence, Personal Development – Tags: , , , , ,

A man showing signs of stress

I was recently asked to write a piece for net on managing stress.  Here’s the article in full below:

What is stress?

There are many definitions but for me, I realised many years ago that I experienced stress when I believed the critical, fearful voice in my head (which, FYI is usually lying!) and this then caused a chemical response in my body (fight or flight).  Exposure to these toxic thoughts and overload of chemicals on a regular basis causes long-term/chronic stress.

How does stress manifest?

Stress can cause all sorts of physical problems from a battered immune system to sleep, libido and appetite problems.  Emotionally, stress can cause us to isolate from life, stop believing in ourselves, stop taking care of ourselves and leave us in a state of overwhelm.  I’ve worked with hundreds and hundreds of people who are stressed because they believe that life is a scary, dangerous place and that they need to be constantly ‘on guard’.  When they let go of this belief and start to trust in the process of life, they experience less stress.  My point is that stress is very often connected more to how we interpret the circumstances of our lives than it is to do with those actual circumstances.

What negative impact can it have on a person?

Stress can leave a person feeling constantly afraid, isolated and ‘put upon’.  It feeds the fearful critical voice and perpetuates a vicious cycle.  This can then lead to physical problems and, occasionally, suicide.

How is it best to manage stress?

I take a two-fold approach with my clients.  Firstly, look at what you can cut out of your life and do it!  Delegation and dropping perfectionism usually means a person has less to deal with.  More importantly, I teach my clients to plug into a wiser, gentler voice inside of them.  I teach them to live in the moment (rather than causing their own stress by worrying constantly about a future that will never arrive) and I teach them to learn to say ’no’.  Some clients are living in very stressful relationships, in which case we may need to look at a piece of work on setting boundaries or leaving that relationship.

Can you offer a few tips on ways to manage stress in the workplace?

* Stop trying to control outcomes!  Do your best and then let it go.  You cannot control how other people will view your work or take a process forwards so do your best and let the results be what they will be.

* Avoid gossip – badmouthing others is toxic and will leave you feeling uncomfortable.  Instead, look for the positive in people and start saying nice things about them.  You’ll be amazed at how kindness and positivity lower your stress levels.

* Delegate!  Learn to say ’no’ and push back occasionally.  Ask for help if you need it.

* Create clear boundaries between home and work – you must switch off.

To read the original article please visit:

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