The Blame Game July 8, 2015 – Posted in: Leaders and Teams, Personal Development, Relationships – Tags: blame, relationships, truth
As a society we are encouraged to blame other people for our situations. This is evident in the PPI sales-calls we all get, the accident claim adverts on TV, our conversations about our politicians, the divorce courts, the children’s playground and on and on…
I’m not for a minute saying that people shouldn’t be held accountable for bad behaviour – of course they should be. However, in blaming other people we can so easily slip under the net of responsibility for our own part in situations. Then, from our position of perceived innocence we become embittered about ‘that thing so-and-so did to me’ whilst forgetting our part entirely.
The highroad emotional and spiritual freedom is paved with objectivity and balance. What am I responsible for? What are they responsible for? How could I have responded better? What can I do to improve things next time? Do I need to walk away and accept defeat?
One of my clients has been dealt a terrible blow by his ex partner and he has been reeling about it ever since. No one is denying that some of her actions have been cruel but by believing it’s all her fault my client had become deeply embittered and deeply distrustful of everyone, including himself.
Through our work together he has begun to see his part in the difficulties in their relationship and doing so has empowered him because he is now seeing the whole situation TRUTHFULLY. It doesn’t change what’s happened but it utterly changes how he feels about himself and his choices for future relationships.
Giving up the blame game takes huge amounts of courage but I promise you the results are worth it!