Resisting What Is September 23, 2015 – Posted in: Confidence – Tags: acceptance, confidence, resistance, self esteem, weightloss
I was working with a client earlier who credits her loss of confidence to her body size. She’s a UK size 12, i.e. normal, slim, just about right.
But for her, being a size 12 is not right. It’s been ‘wrong’ all of her adult life and has been the focus of her frustration for many years. She has been caught up in strict yo-yo dieting for these years; losing weight to become the ‘golden size 10’ (her words) before her body always naturally recalibrates to her natural size – the size she hates – the dreaded size 12.
In our last session we decided to tackle this head on. We explored cultural and familial pressure to be ‘thin’, we looked at her self-hatred and the wonky eating patterns she learnt in childhood from her own mother.
But, the breakthrough only came when we challenged her resistance to the fact that her body seemed to naturally enjoy being a size 12. I asked her what life would be like if she could give up the belief that it was wrong to be a size 12.
“I would be free to enjoy my life. I would be free to wear what I choose and eat when I was hungry. I would be free…” she said, staring at me with wonderment.
The penny had dropped. My client realised that it was her thinking about her body size that was the problem, not her body size! Believing that a size 12 was wrong was the problem, not the fact that she was a size 12. Resisting the facts, that she was built to wear size 12 clothes, was the cause of her angst – NOT the size-label in her dresses.
When we resist the truth we become victims in our own lives. When we accept the truth we become empowered to shape our lives based on the facts.
Acceptance is the key to freedom.
Stop resisting what is and you will become free…