Life on Life’s terms… September 21, 2018 – Posted in: Confidence, Personal Development – Tags: acceptance, confidence, life, self awareness
I first heard the expression ‘Life on Life’s terms’ in my twenties when I was a messed-up, confused, unhappy young woman who couldn’t seem to find any peace or contentment in her life. The wise old bird who suggested I try to accept life on life’s terms had herself been a messed-up, confused, unhappy young woman, who had discovered the power of acceptance to transform her into the serene, wise, contented person she now was. I wanted a piece of what she had so I decided to listen to her by opening my heart and my mind to some of her wisdom.
I wish I could tell you that I was instantly transformed into a calm and happy young woman who practised acceptance every day but this would be a long way from the truth. What actually happened was that the seeds of acceptance started to verrrry slowly germinate in my life and maybe a decade later I started to see some fruit.
During that decade I was stubborn and stuck and striving for ‘something other than life as it was’. I knew that acceptance was the mysterious answer but I had no idea what it looked or felt like, and I had hoodwinked myself into believing that I would be able to accept life as it was once I was thin enough/serene enough/financially stable enough/in love enough/fit enough blah, blah, blah. In short, I was putting the cart before the horse by telling myself that acceptance was a state of mind reserved for when life was perfect rather than the amazingly freeing ability to see the perfection in life every day just as it is…
Thankfully, I am now on the other side of that belief system and I am fully able (and very willing) to accept life as it comes to me each and every day because it’s the path to peace!
* Does this mean I don’t get angry occasionally? No! But it does mean that my anger is fleeting and doesn’t turn into resentment.
* Does it mean I like everything that happens? No of course not but why should I? Like, who put me in charge of Life anyway?
* Does it mean I don’t complain or stand up for what I believe in? No, but I do my best and try to let the outcome be what it is because something bigger than me is also happening (be that collective consciousness, universal energy, God, fate, chance – whatever you want to call it).
* Does this mean I would be serene and happy in a disaster? Doubtful, but I know I’d have to find a way to accept what had happened because it’s the only way to be free going forwards.
One of the best things that has ever happened to me was giving up my misguided sense of control and entitlement. I am not in control of what is happening ‘out there’ but I am in control of how I respond. I don’t deserve good or bad things to happen to me any more than the next person does.
‘Accepting what is’ is not a passive state. It’s one of the most powerful places I can find myself in because I am not busy wasting energy thinking something should not have happened. I can accept that it has happened and then decide how I am going to respond.
Sometimes that means I do nothing,
sometimes that means I have to change,
sometimes I have to wait,
sometimes I have to walk away,
sometimes I have to ask for help
and sometimes I just need to stop and watch in wonder at what is happening.
It’s called living in the moment. It’s being here now. It’s life on life’s terms with all the human labels of ‘beauty’, ‘goodness’, ‘badness’, ‘ugliness’, ‘rightness’ and ‘wrongness’ we stick on it.
It’s Life just busy being Life and accepting that Life, as it unfolds, connects you fully and deeply to the heart of yourself and your human experience.