Going with the flow July 1, 2014 – Posted in: Spirituality – Tags: coaching, confidence, failure, growth, Life Coaching, mindfulness, Personal Development, Positive psychology

Recently, I’ve been mulling what it means to ‘go with the flow.’ Why? Because I’m learning that when I do manage to let go of trying to control outcomes I have much more peace and things seem to just fall into place. So, how do I reconcile this with being a coach and helping people reach their goals…?

A friend once complimented me on my work by saying it was, ‘self help without the wiff waff,’ which I loved because I want everything I do and say to be practical and based in truth. I want my work to be a wiff-waff-free zone. So, I’m challenged whilst writing this because I’m aware that this subject teeters on the edge of the more intangible (aka potentially wiffy-waffy) parts of life.

But, if I could boil down what I’ve learnt so far it would sound something like this… I’ve learnt that it’s up to me to put in my best efforts but the results/outcomes of those efforts are not my business. So, it’s a joint effort between me and ‘life’. I do my bit (which, for me is the next right thing day by day) and I’m learning to trust that whatever comes back to me is OK. After all, to argue with ‘what is’ is kind of mad anyway.

Going through life like this is far less stressful than trying to make everything line up with how I want things to be. My anxiety levels are low and my peace of mind is high. I still face challenges (of course I do!) but accepting them rather than resisting and moaning about them puts me in a far better position to deal constructively with them.

Someone I know who tries to live like this told me that he encountered a very angry driver the other day and was tempted to retaliate with the usual choice of sign language. However, he stopped, accepted the event, didn’t react and drove on feeling some compassion for the other driver who, as he put it, ‘must have been having a really bad day.’ THAT’S what going with the flow can produce – less conflict and more peace. So, get in the river, remembering that you have to swim and see where you end up…

Jo

This column originally appeared in my Life Column for The Bath Magazine.