When there is no desire, all things are at peace September 5, 2019 – Posted in: Advice, Personal Development – Tags: acceptance, advice, change, confidence, growth, happiness, life, Personal Development, positive thinking, self esteem, self love
For those of you who follow me on Instagram, you will no doubt have seen that I spent 10 days catering for our five kids in a tent in Cornwall during one of the most crazy storms the South West has seen in a while. My amazing husband spent two sleepless nights outside pegging and re-pegging the tent while the kids slept soundly through the whole thing! For me, it was like trying to rest in an orchestra pit as the wind turned the thick, wet canvas into drums and the steel poles into screeching wind instruments. So instead, I marvelled at how the tent was staying up and watched the weather with a mixture of awe and excitement.
It was an adventure for us all, our big tent survived (unlike the poor smaller one which caved in at the first gust of wind – see pic) and we had a brilliant (but exhausting) time. Since we got back, so many people have asked me why on earth we camp in the UK when the weather can be so uncertain and my honest answer is ‘because we love it!’ We love being outside, we love roughing it, we love being all together, we love meeting new families and we love the adventure. We’ve all learnt to enjoy the time together whether it’s raining or sunny. We’ve learnt to accept the weather for what it is and crack on regardless.
Acceptance brings peace
And that’s such a metaphor for a happy, contented life! I’ve been re-reading the ancient wisdom book the Tao Te Ching recently and listening to lots of Mooji talks and meditations. Both remind me that if I let go of desire, demands and expectations and simply adjust myself to what is happening I will be okay. It’s so simple!
“When there is no desire,
all things are at peace.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Of course, in practice it is more than tricky to give up our desires because we all want our own way – we all have egos with their voracious appetites for the fulfilment of self will. However, what I have come to see is that the fulfilment of self-will is a never-ending cycle of power play and disappointment because as soon as the ego has it’s way it immediately starts asking, “What’s next?”. You can spend a year trying to lose weight, reach your goal and then think “What’s next? I’m still not happy,” or you can get that amazing promotion and immediately start eyeing up your manager’s job. We are culturally programmed to strive and compete and control everything but this steals our joy in the moment.
Acceptance is one of the most powerful tools in my tool kit for life
After my first marriage ended, I spent 6 years as a singleton and to begin with I was very resistant to not being in a couple. I wanted to meet a new partner and I wanted it NOW!! It took a long time and several disappointing dates to realise that I wasn’t going to be able to force, demand or control love into my life. And so I slowly started to accept my singleness and then I started enjoy the freedom it gave me. I learnt to love my time alone and even began taking myself out for dinner, to the cinema, on holiday. And then Life in all its wisdom decided it was time for me to meet this beautiful soul who is now my husband. When I met him I immediately thought, “Oh, THAT’S why it’s taken so long – it had to be YOU! It had to be HIM”. My acceptance of my singleness not only meant I started enjoying and thriving in my life as a single woman but it also paved the way for the love I have today. Acceptance has proven to be one of the most powerful tools in my tool kit for life.
Storms come and storms go. Sunshine comes and sunshine goes. Holidays come and holidays go. Some tents survive and some collapse. Nothing is certain, everything is always changing – life is always on the move. When I adjust myself to “what is” and allow Life to do its thing I am happy, peaceful and content. I still have my goals and my dreams and I still work towards them but I also accept the day-to-day as it comes, because who am I to argue with reality?
Acceptance is your ticket to freedom
If you try this, you will see how powerful it is. The next time you feel righteous indignation or a complaint arise inside you, simply ask yourself, “How about I let this one go? How about I just accept this is what Life is choosing to allow right now?” and see how you feel. There should be a space, some peace, a gap where you simply exist as part of the whole experience of Life in that moment. And that, my friends, is your ticket to freedom!
Try it and let me know how you get on. You can always read my 100% 5 STAR rated book for a practical guide to managing your ego and the silly tricks it plays on you.