Forgiving other people is an act of pure SELF love March 14, 2016 – Posted in: Advice, Confidence, Relationships – Tags: confidence, forgiveness, relationships, self love
I’ve been doing a lot of work away from home recently and last week I got chatting to a couple of guys over our hotel breakfasts.
I love meeting new people and these guys were fascinating. Both were in their early forties, both had been married and gone through similarly painful divorces over a decade ago, both were dads and both worked hard travelling the UK with their jobs.
One guy was very contented, the other was embittered.
One spoke about people (especially his ex-wife) with a palpable hatred. He wanted her to suffer and was doing all he could do poison her relationship with their children.
The other had accepted the end of his marriage, moved into a new partnership and had an easy relationship with his ex. He actually said, “what’s the point in hating people? It’s not going to change anything.”
What wisdom! Right there over our eggs and bacon!
By forgiving his ex wife for leaving him he has been able to love again and allow her to move on. He lives in a place of acceptance and takes life as he finds it. He’s free.
His colleague is the opposite of free. He believes that his ex doesn’t deserve his forgiveness and he seeks to punish her as often as he can. But, he’s the one who’s suffering. He’s stuck in the past and his hatred of his ex has clouded his view of everyone he meets. He oozes mistrust and scepticism, and can’t see that he holds the key to his own freedom and happiness.
Forgiving another person does not mean you condone what they did or that you have to be super-chummy with them. It just means that you unhook from their power over you and allow Life to be their judge.
Relationships end and they usually end messily. Accepting this and forgiving yourself and the other party is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
How do I know this? Because I’ve been both of those guys at different times in my life. Today, I’m happy, confident and free because I choose acceptance and forgiveness.
And, if I can, so can you.