Confidence and compassion June 29, 2016 – Posted in: Confidence, Personal Development – Tags: confidence, self esteem

Some of the most confident people I know are also the most compassionate, and I find this link really interesting.

What is it about compassion that connects us to our confidence?

People who are able to show compassion have (in general) let go of their need for perfection. Deeply compassionate people have learnt that perfection is a myth, and that to seek it is a one-way-street to disappointment, resentment and low self-esteem (fear).

If you are locked into perfectionism you will find it terribly difficult to feel and show genuine compassion for yourself and others because your ‘standards’ won’t allow you to.

Compassion means, “sympathetic concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others”. It’s pretty difficult to show sympathy or concern for someone if perfection is your benchmark.

Compassion is all about embracing your humanness and the humanity in others. I was asked the other day if I ever became annoyed if a client was upset by something ‘small’ and I can honestly say, ‘no’ because I know that pain is pain whatever the cause. I can only help if I can first seek to understand why someone is feeling the way they do. If I judge their feelings I am not going to help them at all.

That’s compassion in a nutshell for me; it’s about dropping the ‘shoulds’ and all other judgements, seeking to understand someone and perhaps walking alongside them for a while.

And, being able to do this produces a deep sense of confidence because it allows us to side-step the poison of perfectionism and embrace reality.

So, if you want to feel more confident try dropping your perfectionism and showing active compassion yourself and the people in your life.