Are you telling yourself the truth? February 15, 2016 – Posted in: Confidence, Personal Development

One of the most exciting aspects of my job is helping people to be truthful with themselves… It’s fascinating just how many lies we tell ourselves and how these lies disempower us.

Here’s a great example: I know someone who believes she is the victim of a bad marriage. She believes her husband to be someone who uses her and doesn’t respect her. She believes she’s stuck in a loveless marriage with no choice but to ‘put up and shut up’.

But is this really the truth?

Would a more truthful interpretation be that she and her husband are both using each other to stay in the safety of what they know rather than risk dealing with their issues? She feels he doesn’t respect her but does she respect him? And, as an intelligent woman with a good job and great friends she is no more ‘stuck’ in this marriage than she is in any other area of her life.

My point is that she is telling herself the lie that she’s a victim when in fact she’s choosing to stay in an unsatisfying relationship. She may even be enjoying her sense of victimhood, because it gives her an excuse to do nothing. I’m not for a minute suggesting she leaves her husband (that’s absolutely her decision) but I am suggesting that she’s choosing to blame him rather than face some truths about herself.

We lie to ourselves about all kinds of things… we tell ourselves that rain is bad when in other countries they pray daily for rain in order to survive. We tell ourselves that the future is going to be just like the past, but how on earth do we know this? One of the most pervasive lies in our culture is that ageing is bad… and then we feel ashamed when we get a few laughter lines on our faces. I happen to find that life gets better with each passing year, so for me, the statement that ageing is bad is a total lie.

So, stop lying to yourself! Challenge your thoughts by taking each one and asking whether you’re telling yourself the truth or not.

If you’re open to new ideas, you’ll be amazed at the results…