Letting Go… January 28, 2015 – Posted in: Relationships – Tags: bath magazine, compassion, control, fear, growth, stress
How much do you try to control the outcomes of your life? To try and make people think how you want them to think, or to get that promotion you want, or to force that guy to fall in love with you…?
Some of our control mechanisms as humans involve:
- worrying that we won’t get what we want or that we’ll lose something precious to us
- trying to force someone’s hand by telling them what we think they want to hear or nagging them until they see things our way
- using physical force
- using our sexuality
- using our perceived ‘status’ as victims to guilt the other into doing things our way
- bullying (both verbally and physically)
I could go on but I think you get the gist…
The problem with trying to control outcomes is that we never learn to trust in the ebb and flow of life. We are constantly afraid of what might go wrong and of what might slip out from under our control. In short, we’re playing God and living with a whole heap of unnecessary stress.
So, what’s the alternative?
The alternative is to do your best with as much honesty and courage as you can muster!
So, if it’s a relationship you’re hoping for then truthfully tell them how you feel and ask them for their honest reaction. If they don’t reciprocate then at least you can move on. If it’s a job you’re hoping then do your best, without lying and see where it takes you. Take the actions you can, do your best and leave the results alone because they’re NOT your business! The results are what come back to you when life and other people have been allowed to play their part.
I sent my debut book off to agents last week and I’m now waiting to hear back. It’s not easy just waiting BUT I know I’ve done my best and my bit. The right result will come and I’ll respond accordingly when the time is right.
Let go and trust in life a bit more – it’s a beautiful, peaceful way to live.
This blog post first appeared as an article in my Life Column in The Bath Magazine.