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Have yourself a confident Christmas… November 30, 2017 – Posted in: Advice, Confidence, Personal Development, Relationships

For those of you who regularly read my blog and my advice column you’ll know that I’m all about authenticity and being real. Why? Because perfectionism and mask-wearing are two of the biggest barriers to confidence that I’ve come across in my six years as a coach. I’ve worked with hundreds of people (probably thousands now) and they all tell me that pretending to be someone or something they’re not feeds their insecurities. And dismantles…

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Face Your Fears July 27, 2015 – Posted in: Personal Development

Let me tell you about a client of mine who I worked with several years ago… James* was a straight-A student who couldn’t get out of bed or do any studying. He was also taking painkillers by the handful, drinking every day and had stopped eating. Having been predicted a first class degree in his first and second years at university, he now risked being thrown off his course.

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Making Difficult Decisions March 2, 2015 – Posted in: Advice

How many times have you faced a decision in life that you’ve agonised over? I know that I’ve been in this situation on more than one occasion and the hours spent deliberating can be exhausting and, often, fruitless. If you are someone who lacks confidence then you will likely canvass everyone you know for their opinion on, ‘what you should do’. The problem with this is that everyone is likely to offer you a different…

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Letting Go… January 28, 2015 – Posted in: Relationships

How much do you try to control the outcomes of your life? To try and make people think how you want them to think, or to get that promotion you want, or to force that guy to fall in love with you…?

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Forget resolutions, set goals December 22, 2014 – Posted in: Confidence, Personal Development

Set with enthusiasm and all good intentions, resolutions are meant to improve our lives. The problem, as we all know, is that they are usually ‘broken’ by the end of January, leaving us feeling dejected, despondent and cross with ourselves. I was caught in this trap for many, many years until one Christmas I thought I’d set goals for the coming year instead of make resolutions, the focus being on things I could achieve over…

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Pre-Christmas De-Stress December 18, 2014 – Posted in: Personal Development, Relationships

So, here we all are at the end of another year and counting the days to Christmas. If, like me, you have young children at home then the excitement will likely be reaching fever pitch especially with all the parties, nativities and mufti days adding to the already heady cocktail of anticipation and exhaustion. There’s no doubt this is a magical and special time of the year but there are many for whom Christmas is difficult…

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Fearing Failure November 19, 2014 – Posted in: Confidence

Many of the people I see in my coaching practice suffer with a fear of failure. In fact, I reckon if we all peeled back the layers of our psyche we’d likely find this fear of failure in some form or another. Fear of failure is a fear of being exposed or a fear of not being good enough. It’s also a fear of the unknown based on the belief that you ‘wouldn’t cope’ if…

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Letting Go of Outcomes October 22, 2014 – Posted in: Confidence, Personal Development

I have a client, we’ll call him Tim*, who used to be terribly worried about getting things right and not making mistakes. He worked a normal 40-hour week but then spent an additional 15-20 hours each week trying to improve the work he’d already done or spot any mistakes he might’ve missed. You might think Tim had a tyrannical boss but the truth is he works for himself, runs his own consultancy and therefore the…

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Stop Starting Wars October 7, 2014 – Posted in: Confidence, Leaders and Teams, Personal Development

I’ve been realising increasingly that happiness or being ‘sorted’ is not about how my life looks from the outside but how I choose to respond to whatever happens. If I respond in fear or frustration I am likely to make a situation worse (or certainly feel worse about it) but, if I respond from a place of acceptance and calm I will likely retain my sense of balance and I then stand a far better…

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