Episode 6 - Jo - People should be nice
In this final episode of Season One, we hear Jo as she explores the impact three significant episodes of bullying have had on her and her confidence. We also explore magical thinking and how expecting other people to just be nice and behave in certain ways can seriously affect our self-esteem. If you’ve been mistreated by someone in the past and their words and actions still affect you please listen to this episode as it’s time for you to reclaim your power, as Jo decides to do during our coaching hour.
With themes of trauma, bullying, gaslighting and acceptance this coaching conversation also challenges the validity of the moral rules we expect others to follow.
If you are struggling to assert yourself against a bully here’s what to do:
Know that their need to dominate you come from their own fear and deep insecurities.
Know also that their mistreatment of you is about their stuff and is no reflection on you.
Notice the part of you lost in the fairness fantasy and do business with that voice. It’s not up to you how other people behave so stop expecting them to be nice!
Listen to what they say and don’t interrupt.
When they have finished state your case calmly and keep repeating your case using similar language. Repetition builds a wall of protection around you.
Walk away if you need to and, if this is a professional environment, report the bullying immediately to your HR department.