The Lies We Believe (And How They Shape Our Lives)
I was ten when I started believing a lie that would shape my life for decades: I thought I had fat legs.
Let me clarify—my legs weren’t fat. I was a skinny kid. But that didn’t matter. I looked at a photo of myself wearing a rah-rah skirt (very Tammy Girl of the time) and recoiled. That moment marked the beginning of years spent battling body shame, self-hatred, and disordered eating—all because I accepted a lie that paved the way for many more.
Looking back, the first lie I believed was that my legs were “wrong” and shameful. Then came the second: that having fat legs was inherently bad—a belief deeply rooted in the thin-obsessed culture I grew up in. The lies kept multiplying: I should hide my legs. I should change my legs. I even fantasised about surgery at the age of ten.
By the time I hit my teens, these lies had evolved into skipping meals and a host of disordered behaviours that haunted me well into my thirties. My body didn’t change much, but my thoughts did—and they became the lens through which I experienced my life.
But here’s the thing: this isn’t just a blog about body image or eating disorders. It’s about the lies we all believe and how they shape our reality.
The Power of Lies to Shape Our Reality
The day before I believed the lie about my legs, I moved freely, ate intuitively, and didn’t give my body a second thought. The day after, my life became consumed by shame, restriction, and self-criticism.
As a coach, I see this pattern in my clients all the time:
Someone believes the first lie.
They adjust their behaviour to fit this false belief.
A cascade of other lies follows, leading to unhealthy habits, thoughts, and relationships.
Here are some examples of lies we commonly tell ourselves:
“I have to work 60+ hours a week to justify my salary.”
“Talking about family trauma makes me disloyal.”
“I’m responsible for fixing my partner’s painful past.”
“Men shouldn’t cry.”
“Ageing is bad.”
“Showing vulnerability makes me weak.”
“Christmas has to be perfect.”
These lies are subtle but incredibly powerful, and over time they start to dictate how we live, work, and relate to ourselves and others.
A Real-Life Example
One of my clients once believed the story that her husband had abandoned her and their children for another woman. To her, this narrative was absolute truth. She felt rejected, victimised, and stuck in a cycle of anger and resentment.
But through coaching, we uncovered the real story: years earlier, she had told her husband she no longer loved him and refused to have an intimate relationship with him. Eventually, she asked him to leave, and he moved on.
Her belief that “good people don’t leave marriages” had kept her stuck in anger and blame. Once she faced the truth—that she had ended the marriage—she began to release her resentment and take responsibility for her happiness.
How I Learned to Love My Legs
So, back to my ten-year-old legs. Today, I love them. They’re one of my favourite features. They haven’t changed much—they’re still long, muscly, with a bit of wobble at the top. They’ve carried me through rain-soaked walks, hill climbs on my bike, and countless other moments of life.
The difference? I stopped believing the lies. I reframed my perspective. My legs are not fat, thin, perfect, or imperfect—they’re mine. They support me, and that’s enough.
What Lies Are You Living By?
We all have lies we believe, whether about our bodies, relationships, careers, or worth. The first step to uncovering them is to examine the “rules” you live by. Ask yourself:
Is this rule serving me?
Is it rooted in truth or fear?
Could it be an old belief that no longer fits who I am today?
Once you begin to challenge these lies, you can rewrite your story—one based on truth, compassion, and self-respect.
If this resonates with you, let’s work together. Explore how 1:1 coaching can help you overcome limiting beliefs and step into a life of authenticity and confidence.