Episode 1 - Tina - How can I be a more confident parent?

In this episode we hear Tina as she explores the changing relationship she has with her two sons in their transition into adulthood. For context, Tina left her abusive marriage before the pandemic and has done a huge amount of work on herself to rebuild her confidence and self-esteem. However, as we hear in this episode, the effects of decades of abuse linger for all family members and, as the mother, Tina is still torn between what she did to survive and how her sons have interpreted this. How will their relationship fare now that she is happy and settled?

She is such a brave, strong, loving woman – a shining example of how the past does not have to define us.  

Listen out for themes of co-dependency, harsh self-criticism and forgiveness all of which affect our confidence. 

If you are struggling to forgive yourself after making a big decision here’s what I suggest:

• Write down exactly why you made the decision. What was on your mind at the time? What support did you have? What choices did you realistically have? Faced with the same decision now what would you do differently?

• Consider this statement – “no one benefits from your guilt”. We often think we somehow owe it to others to feel guilty but this is twisted thinking. No one benefits from you dragging regrets around with you.

• If anyone was hurt by your decision do you need to make an apology to them? You can do this and still stand by your decision.

• What have you learned from this experience? How has it shaped you? Nothing is wasted – life is a never-ending cycle of learning and growth.

• Write yourself a letter of forgiveness expressing everything you feel about what happened and end your letter with “I release you, I forgive you, it’s done, I let go.”