I feel caught in a dilemma. Some time back I got into a relationship with someone for whom I developed very strong feelings. Sadly the relationship quickly broke down because of some complex family issues that she had to deal with. It happened so fast that at the time I felt very confused and sad and wasn’t quite sure what to believe. We have managed to stay friends and I do trust her much more…
Continue readingHow many times have you faced a decision in life that you’ve agonised over? I know that I’ve been in this situation on more than one occasion and the hours spent deliberating can be exhausting and, often, fruitless. If you are someone who lacks confidence then you will likely canvass everyone you know for their opinion on, ‘what you should do’. The problem with this is that everyone is likely to offer you a different…
Continue readingI’m 39 and a mum. I’ve been with my partner for 6 years but am finding it very hard and strange. He always has his phone locked. I can see I have no say over his phone – it’s his and that’s it – but I’ve seen a lot of women he used to chat up on chat rooms and WhatsApp on there and I’ve seen porn on his laptop and phone.
Continue readingA client asked me yesterday about strategy – how to create one and how to stick to one – and my answer was twofold: 1. Know what your purpose is in life (i.e. be intentional in all you do) and… 2. Start with the end in mind
Continue readingI have a client, we’ll call him Tim*, who used to be terribly worried about getting things right and not making mistakes. He worked a normal 40-hour week but then spent an additional 15-20 hours each week trying to improve the work he’d already done or spot any mistakes he might’ve missed. You might think Tim had a tyrannical boss but the truth is he works for himself, runs his own consultancy and therefore the…
Continue readingI’ve been realising increasingly that happiness or being ‘sorted’ is not about how my life looks from the outside but how I choose to respond to whatever happens. If I respond in fear or frustration I am likely to make a situation worse (or certainly feel worse about it) but, if I respond from a place of acceptance and calm I will likely retain my sense of balance and I then stand a far better…
Continue readingHow would you react if I told you we were leaving tomorrow to climb Mount Everest…? Unless you’re an experienced high-altitude climber, I imagine something like the following would run through your mind… “But, I can’t climb mountains!” “But, what about my job?” “But, I don’t have any equipment!” “I’m scared…”
Continue readingAs part of a recent Confidence Building Workshop, the delegates and I were discussing what confidence is and also what it isn’t. When I wrote the following statement on the board, “Confidence isn’t permanent,” there was a collective sharp intake of breath as light-bulb moments fired off across the room. This statement proved to be very powerful as it freed the people on my course from thinking that in order to be a confident person…
Continue readingIn tribute to the late Stephen R Covey and his brilliant book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (which, if you haven’t read I’d really recommend you do), I thought it would be interesting to look at the opposite. So here, from my own (and my clients’ experiences) is my list of the 7 Beliefs (“Thinking Habits”) sure to keep you unfulfilled, unhappy and unsuccessful…
Continue readingI talk a lot about authenticity in my work, regularly encouraging my clients to find their authentic selves in order to lead happier, more fulfilling lives. So, what does it mean to be ‘authentic’?
Continue reading