Today I’ve been thinking a lot about how fear is so closely related to control. For example, if you are someone who worries (feels fear) about the future then this is likely because you don’t know what will happen, i.e. you are not in control! And, as a race, we don’t like to be without control…!
Continue readingAs a society we are encouraged to blame other people for our situations. This is evident in the PPI sales-calls we all get, the accident claim adverts on TV, our conversations about our politicians, the divorce courts, the children’s playground and on and on…
Continue readingI have a theory about life and it goes something like this … when we focus on what we can give to life rather than what we can get out of it we become much happier, more fulfilled people (and we get what we need anyway).
Continue readingHello, You are not your past. Do you know that? You’re not your past. Your past is an influencing factor in your present – we all have memories locked away that can trigger learnt (automatic) responses today – but you are not your past unless you choose to live there.
Continue readingWhether you’re a new mum or a seasoned parent of university leavers there is one thing that will poison your parenting like nothing else and that’s competitive child rearing. I first noticed this phenomenon when Beth, my first child, was about 4-months old and some of my new-mum peers starting competing to see whose child would hold their head steady first. Seriously! Then the race to weaning began swiftly followed by a competition to…
Continue readingToday, be grateful. Whatever you have be thankful you have it. Whatever you don’t have be thankful too (when you eventually get it you’ll realise why you had to wait). Be grateful for those you love. Send warmth to those you struggle with (they are likely teaching you something about yourself). Write a list of ten things you are grateful for and get on with your day. Live to the best of your ability today…
Continue readingHello, How much value do you place on your worrying? I know that sounds like a crazy question but just think about it for a minute. I know that for years (until I was in my mid-thirties) I actually thought that I was somehow controlling the outcome of a situation by worrying about it. Or, that if I stopped worrying I would be giving ‘life’ permission to do it’s worst.
Continue readingI’ve been realising increasingly that happiness or being ‘sorted’ is not about how my life looks from the outside but how I choose to respond to whatever happens. If I respond in fear or frustration I am likely to make a situation worse (or certainly feel worse about it) but, if I respond from a place of acceptance and calm I will likely retain my sense of balance and I then stand a far better…
Continue readingHello, I read this recently and thought, “YES!”: “As we demonstrate love towards others, we learn that we are lovable and we learn how to love more deeply. However, as we demonstrate fear or negativity, we learn self-condemnation and we learn to feel more frightened of life.”
Continue readingHello, As a confidence coach I’m often asked what I do in order to be more confident. And my answer is that it’s not so much what I do but what I THINK that allows me to have a confident day.
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